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Empire's News Editor, host of the Empire Podcast, and all-round Q&A-hole. It's ok. I wouldn't follow me either.

652 Following   18,310 Followers   41,615 Tweets

Join Twitter 2/11/09

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@JohnPMerr Ha! Travis used to be a staple. We've all heard of them.This is how I'll react if I ever meet someone who doesn't fast-forward through the history bit in #GBBO. http://t.co/BPfJLvMcLQAnytime I want to feel hopelessly out of touch with new music, I just check the soundtrack listing for the latest FIFA. #neverheardofthem@McKelvie That's right, Jamie. Laugh at the man with the funny accent. YOU SICKEN ME.@DapperDan About two minutes.Bit miffed. Took a 'which member of the Justice League are you?' quiz, and it turns out I'm Darren, the guy who empties their bins.@unklerupert @ghuwevans INTENSELY proud of that one.BREAKING: Liev Schreiber to join @ghuwevans' The Raid 3, and battle Iko Uwais on top of a Ford Transit in RAID ON A VAN. #sorry #sosorry
@kerihw "PINT OF BANTER PLEASE, BARMAN."@LukeWhiston Hush, Luke. I know. I know.@NiallXMurphy It's not Helen's birthday.@kerihw Bless you, Keri. I don't feel a day over [insert random number, preferably very high for EXTRA LOLS, here].@dawneywawney Huuuuuurray! Thanks!@kerihw @UpturnedBathtub It's true. He does it at parties. Did it tonight at dinner at the Masterchef pop-up. Clown suit's off-putting, Keri@HiddlestonHeart Thank you. Just three months to go of this year. Time enough for it to become phenomenal.@maryhuntermaryh Thanks, Mary! Hope all's well with you! x@Rohan_Gotobed Thanks!@KevinLehane They do say something, don't they? Most of the time they're fucking idiots, of course, but on this occasion they're right.@NomadicWriter Thanks!@leewest82 It's how I live my life. One terrorist takeover at a time.@ben_cameron It was grand, thanks, apart from being kicked mercilessly in the swingers by Liverpool FC. The only target they hit today.@rhysjamesy It's picking up from here. I'm about to watch this week's Bake Off.Thanks again for all the lovely birthday messages. I shall burst out of a cake for each and every one of you at a time of my choosing.@NickdeSemlyen MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY. *never stops shuddering*Perusing the menu at the Masterchef restaurant, where the food will rock and football won't hurt me. http://t.co/avxtLcylI0Someone just shouted Tory scum at the screen in #RiotClub
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@yourturnheather Some of these people are famous. Some of them aren't."I'm the seventh-best there is at what I do, and what I do is not that great." Low Self-Esteem WolverineFascinating fact: I share a birthday with everyone who was born on the same day as me.Thanks for all the lovely birthday messages. I will accept them in lieu of gifts or cash.I just mistyped Netflix as Nerdlix, which a) sounds like a very different type of website and b) is my next big business idea.@ScottFilmCritic @ITV I missed them both times. To Netflix!Absolute muffin stare down. http://t.co/SJ7pUa87WH
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@dawneywawney My perfect woman is basically an @38 years ago, I emerged screaming from my mother's womb. I haven't stopped screaming since.. @JamesGunn Deadpool owes Guardians a huge debt. What a movie.
Retweeted by Chris HewittAlright, Thor, I'm up already! Easy on the thunder, big fella.@UpturnedBathtub Blimey, that's quite the stay. Do some comedy while you're here, John, and I shall go and see it.
@UpturnedBathtub How long you here for? A fun thing to do in London is to get on the underground and never get off.I deplore fascism of any hue.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@TonyFisherLive Blimey! Wow, thank you, that really means something. He was on good form, was Big Liam.@MysteryBritExec @gray Stipe pipes? I like to think so, which probably means no!@gray @MysteryBritExec Did I mention I sang At My Most Beautiful to my wife at our wedding?@Mz_Scheherazade October 10...@ChrisHewitt Mine replaced "bleugh" with "BLEUGHNOCULARS", which is everything I want from an OS.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@MysteryBritExec *nods, wails, does that thing where he holds his hands up like he's doing an invisible card trick*@MysteryBritExec Well, I'm already married, but I do a mean Stipe. #factiOS8 has a disconcerting habit of turning Christ into CHRIST. It's positively iVangelical.@letshugbro @jonsbaird No surrender? What the hell do they think they're surrendering to?For anyone confused about the referendum, I've made of map of what the Union will look like if there's a yes vote. http://t.co/HERv9tgXgk
Retweeted by Chris HewittI'M BEHIND YOU. #roadsignsInterviewed Holly about her lovely Pizza Express review http://t.co/Td4gwZvPHE
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@Koptalkpodcast Absolutely. Enjoy LA. Holiday?@Pandamoanimum @UpturnedBathtub I love him really.@Koptalkpodcast 1-1 v West Ham, 2-1 against Boro.@gray @TheTessMorris LOCK UP. Ooh, now I want to watch Lock Up.@UpturnedBathtub @Pandamoanimum Punctuation, John. It's "I've lost, me shit".@dawneywawney That's exactly what Duncan Bannatyne said when I pitched that on the Den.@kerihw Pump away, pal. Pump away.@kerihw You just got retweeted by David St. Hubbins. Blimey.@MooseAllain @realDonaldTrump He must mean that the wind from the turbines blew all the voting slips away. That has to be it.Just briefly held the new iPhones. Well, actually I had to get someone else to help me hold the iPhone 6 Plus. It's a bleedin' monster.MISSED CONNECTION; London Bridge to Charing YOU, looked uncomfortable, avoided my eyes, spoke to Guard ME,staring at your tits, for 40 mins
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@FlexibleHead Facial hair's way better than mine.REAL WORLD: "Whoah, that's pretty disturbing... you should see a psychiatrist" TWITTER: "157 RT, 210 Fav"
Retweeted by Chris HewittHere's this week's #EmpirePodcast, in which Liam Neeson reveals a couple of corking Robin Williams anecdotes: http://t.co/nrAjIOAPsq@laurenlaverne @juliansimpson1 Amazing book. I need to read it again.@Pandamoanimum @JCautomatic If you're not dressed like this, I'll be most disappointed. http://t.co/Mh6UzsG8yZ@Y2Neildotcom @ChrisHewitt Worth the wait? http://t.co/6d9o6lAJKL
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@Ford_Tippex @JCautomatic Especially on International Have A Wank At Work Day, which is totally a real day that is today.In his book ‘Simply English’, Simon Heffer recommends cutting redundant words. Well, he’s convinced me. http://t.co/9hHL0ZX8Nk
Retweeted by Chris HewittWon't anybody think of the fans?Can't believe UEFA have awarded the first half of the Euro 2020 final to Wembley, and the second half to Villa Park. They've gone too far.@mrsimonharvey @JCautomatic @mrnickharvey We're all his brothers now.@JCautomatic Oh, I'll pop out, alright. That's what you said, right?@JCautomatic So wrong. So wrong that I'm massively aroused.@stuartctaylor Pretty much just the one, to be fair.@JamesImightbe No, that's not it. It's going to kill me, trying to remember that bloody slap.@moneill Not a problem - I loved the book, and it's a very worthy adaptation. Neeson is excellent.@cf31bloobird A Walk Among The Tombstones.Waiting outside the @BBC6MorningShow studio, waiting to talk to @laurenlaverne about films. Always with the waiting.@BBC6MorningShow @phlaimeaux I'd best head over, then.Still to come; we're chatting David O'Doherty (@phlaimeaux) and another almighty #DesertIslandDisco, plus @ChrisHewitt talks films
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@NickyRR Thanks! It's tomorrow. Pressies today. And I intend to have a wonderful Dan Stevens kinda day!@ShaolinLump If Jon Flanagan isn't a 93, I'll be enraged.Incredible news for London filmgoers: the Trocadero is going arthouse, and, better yet, @Picturehouses. http://t.co/42iRtz9RlZ
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@britesparc Or maybe I've got my hands on it nice and early... BIRTHDAY BONUS!@Samjuro What happens in Cannes stays in Cannes.Lovely birthday pressies from the office. The bin isn't one of them. #NewCue #newFifa http://t.co/SUQhRtMbIf@SummerRay @ben_cameron It is truly an honour to be Photoshopalised by you.@ben_cameron @ChrisHewitt http://t.co/rkNPChHO2z
Retweeted by Chris HewittSTICK IT TO THE MAN. http://t.co/FuYbYzJqSp
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@chrismcquarrie You had me at "Do you want to score Mission:Impossible 5" #MI5Diary
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@ChrisHewitt http://t.co/XoaEfRQyyX
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@moonjam Brilliant.I wish I knew how to use Photoshop. Can someone Photoshop me looking like I know how to use Photoshop?“@PabloBonzo: @ChrisHewitt Did I just coin a new hash tag trend? #workwank” Today is International Have A Wank At Work Day, after all.@monkeydogify @JCautomatic @mrnickharvey Why would you want to unsee perfection?@JCautomatic @mrnickharvey Phew. I was worried there for a second. Give him a crunched up Bonio for me.Twitter poll - Should this be a one way ticket? RT Yes Fav No - http://t.co/ZGu6q3A0eE
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt
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