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Creative maker, internet geek, bionic chef, & brooklynite. Currently @timehop. Formerly @yipit @nestio @techstars.

238 Following   727 Followers   8,411 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/13/07

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hiring dinosaurs wasn't going so well, so we resorted to employing humans. welcome @KatieChin @mattRaoul & @jpbimmer to the Timehop family!
Retweeted by Matt Raoul
7/6
2015
http://t.co/66bXWBmOzB
Retweeted by Matt Raoul
7/5
2015
Shit just got real. @ Erskine Lake https://t.co/LejODTBHQI
7/4
2015
"Gin literally tastes like nothing." - My mom.Pools are so awesome.
7/3
2015
A year from today, @timehop will tell me that I officially joined @timehop today and I was excited about it. #tbt@okaysee Ohhh, interesting. Beet? Blueberry?As in, cook your potatoes in seasoned, neon green, pond water.If you learn ONE THING this July 4th, can it be how to season your fucking potato salad please? http://t.co/DhESK3f6wC@fancyjelly YES! 10 POUNDS OF TEQUILA!@fancyjelly Strawberry Mojitos. 10lbs of Strawberry Mojitos.A good sandwich is 80% ingredients, 10% construction, & 10% mayonnaise.
7/2
2015
Smiles before the tears. #FUNHOME @ Circle In The Square https://t.co/JoHcYhLaAjFUNHOME!! Erica @lexyapostolou Justin (@ Circle In The Square Theatre - @souldoctor in New York, NY) https://t.co/6ZzEY9yftR
7/1
2015
Here's an iCal reminder to delete your Apple Music account before the trial ends. #JustSaying http://t.co/1WVfi501cg
6/30
2015
Night, gays. #Pride https://t.co/RbEIzfcsRB@UsefulTheory @NYCPride Haaay! Where are you guys?#Pride with these assholes!!!! #LoveWins @ NYC Pride (The Official NYC LGBT Pride Organizer) https://t.co/aO69fkpihAI'm at The March - @NYCPride in New York, NY w/ @usefultheory https://t.co/cMu9NNokuV
6/28
2015
Rainbow bagels to kick off #pride weekend. #GAYGELS #CarbsWin https://t.co/WOuIk3mhPP
6/27
2015
https://t.co/yCuinHw4VsCelebrating equality w/@SenSherrodBrown. Wish my union dad could see his daughter w/bullhorn. via @newward3 #LoveWins http://t.co/HGu1UZftde
Retweeted by Matt RaoulListening to a mom on the train explain today's ruling to her daughter and I'm overwhelmed that she'll grow up in a much better world.Scalia’s dissent starts off with a resounding “lol bro i’m straight" http://t.co/NqgsoIhyvq
Retweeted by Matt RaoulIt is so ordered. http://t.co/tistlfv2rc
Retweeted by Matt Raoul@frankdenbow http://t.co/VkndlC0XAHGotta say, I actually didn't know if I'd see this day, but god damn I'm glad it's here. #scotusHaven't read the ruling yet, so it's not 100% clear if I need to get straight divorced. If so, I think I'm going for Johnny Depp next.
Retweeted by Matt RaoulA timeline GIF of marriage equality: http://t.co/1diqiWQ7HT
Retweeted by Matt Raoul
6/26
2015
@jwegener no. Nothing's okay.Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck FUCK. FUCK.Everyone's moved on to #ratchet and I'm just sitting here still trying to understand #fleek.The case for the 4-hour work week: YOLO.#Pride1978 #Timehop http://t.co/Y9wNulo5u5
6/25
2015
PHOTOS: Pope Francis' nun fan club. http://t.co/U3ZGPLJq5w http://t.co/YKTtDZA0yn
Retweeted by Matt Raoul@jwegener do not like.8 years later and I finally reclaimed the mayorship of Toad Hall. Feels good, man.@mattRaoul "like ants on a dead cricket" is my new favorite line
Retweeted by Matt RaoulThis is exactly why I avoid outdoor movies in NYC. Also most NYC summer events. And anything with people in general. https://t.co/9tnjFHJKoz
6/24
2015
Don't listen to them. I like seeing all your sunset photos. It feels like you're with me. Holding my hand. Smelling my musk.@emmajemm They just say that, but you know they mean bottom.@emmajemm WTF WHYSitting in the conference room because it's the only place I know how to turn the AC on in this office.
6/23
2015
The 'Baby I was churned this way' ice cream at @amplehills makes me so proud to be gay AND lactose tolerant. #Pride2015The only difference between MMA and MMF is that the woman in the bikini leaves during MMA.
6/22
2015
Happy day, Pops! https://t.co/RaYP6hRocL
6/21
2015
@jwegener those placeholder assets tho...
6/20
2015
YAS. Neil Gaiman’s ‘American Gods’ Lands Series Greenlight at Starz http://t.co/DNkwsfJM7VCitibike is really starting to understand it's audience. http://t.co/vloMWulULi
6/17
2015
In 5-billion yrs the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.
Retweeted by Matt Raoul
6/16
2015
Really curious about the thinking behind these @foursquare emails as I find them to be pretty stupid.Being carried around by that Ser Robert Strong zombie is my ideal mode of NYC transit, Just saying.
6/15
2015
Sometimes you ring the alarm and these three show up and throw the best dinner party you've ever had… https://t.co/mlwqG8YpxK
6/13
2015
So excited to be joining the @kristenhengst book club! http://t.co/6G0neE1EsR
6/12
2015
Dark rum. Turmeric. Pineapple. Ginger. Soda.Spoken by someone who truly doesn't understand Reddit. - http://t.co/IaKTY03wP4There are so many hand emoji but not that many feet emoji. #FootShamingDomain renewal notifications should just be called "You still haven't done anything with this novelty domain" reminders.I love internet drama.
6/11
2015
TIL there is a spice called Grains of Paradise. http://t.co/CoDyetcWD9Lamb Adana was my favorite character on Battlestar Galactica.VERY IMPORTANT - The 2016 U.S. Presidential Candidates’ Logos, Ranked https://t.co/rkkLF02iCt
6/10
2015
On top of the INCREDIBLE meal @BirdsandBubbles, I got the loveliest surprise from @sarahmcsimmons. #PIMENTOLIFE http://t.co/e2NxcmfREcCan fried chicken and champagne cure your headaches? Tonight on my 6:45 News (Dinner).@green_machine_ No, but honestly anyone with a toaster these days is clearly a hoarder.There would be no Toy Story Triology is Andy wasn't such a hoarder.Pasta in the morning Pasta in the evening Pasta at Supper TimeA countdown clock for whenever my toenail is going to just FALL OUT ALREADY.The sound of dialup.. explained: http://t.co/i1FNCkLEgU - awesome. http://t.co/OH7oA0Ylo3
Retweeted by Matt Raoul
6/9
2015
@rickwebb Oh my god, Rick. Thank you so much.Everytime I make a fantastic joke, I secretly hope someone will tweet it so I can retweet it and then I'll figure out what's next.I now discover 80% of my music at @soulcycle https://t.co/Jlt4iO72MV (ht @nm_forms)@TimFederle http://t.co/ySU2aVFfg8I just wrote an ode to artboards but I guess it's not an ode as much as a list of things I hate about artboards."Have you ever had this happen to you…?" - Vacuum Salesman Pitch and #WWDC15 tagline#WWDC15 Is by far the coolest live infomercial EVER.Updated dream jobs: - Goat Therapist - Freestyle Rapper - Potato Taster
6/8
2015
Previously on Game Of Thrones: The Musical!Glad I got those @funhomemusical tix mere minutes before that big win!It's worth getting up at 6AM to cook when you get to see people really enjoy your food.I wonder how long this piece of French toast has been on my face for...ILL NEVER REMEMBER HOW FAST THINGS BROIL.I take brunch seriously. https://t.co/IAD7myt6bgI stand by my 15-min incremental cooking schedules. Flexible enough for the impromptu mango & pear Bellinis.
6/7
2015
@norasnyderman YEAH. AND TURKEY BACON!@vondoom But the follow up tho!!!CASE IN POINT. 🔽Planes are like jokes in that they don't ALL land.#LPT https://t.co/sJEkR4OwTx@lexyapostolou OMG no never but you eat gluten still sometimes but also ill cook gluten free with you but also i love you don't leave me
6/5
2015
It's that time of year again where I weigh every new song as being the possible Song Of The Summer®!@annesaurus WERE FIGHTING NOW.@annesaurus I've had good gluten free cakes. but never BETTER than cakes with so so much gluten. NEVER.@annesaurus ANNE HOW COULD YOU???@mattRaoul normal cakes are the lie.
Retweeted by Matt RaoulAll cakes are a lie when they're gluten free.I do my best work when HR is on vacation.Dream job: foie gras goose
Retweeted by Matt Raoul#tbt 6 years ago today! http://t.co/Zl56kp0svC http://t.co/G44kiNXxFaParty like it's 1999. https://t.co/mgaFGDxjzS
6/4
2015
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